Longhorn girls are hot. Not only because they look good in jeans, boots, and burnt orange, but because they’re smart as hell. She’ll most likely be your boss at home and/or at work, but fear not. It’s for the better. So, read below as we give you the 18 Reasons Why It’s Better to Date a Longhorn Girl…Hook ’em!
1.) She ain’t afraid to yell “Make ’em eat shit!” instead of “Go Horns, Go!” during Texas Fight!
2.) She’s so hot that even at away games, she’ll gain national media attention.
I’m not lying, read this story.
3.) But, she ain’t afraid of saying what she really thinks in front of the camera.
Anyone who attends the University of Texas knows of the immense power one possesses once they realize they bleed burnt orange. We’ve put together the Top 20 Most Famous People who went to our beloved alma mater, and let’s just say…we’ve got some pretty bad ass people who roamed the dorms, classrooms, and streets of Austin.
Seriously…what starts here does change the world. Hook ’em!
From some famous Mad Men to a few Wedding Crashers and slackers…there’s a bit of something for everyone. Alright? Alright, alright, alright!
Here we go!
20.) Bill Moyers
For all of you PBS hippie lovers, President Johnson’s former Press Secretary, Bill Moyers, graduated from the University in 1956. He is well known for his work in public broadcasting, where you’ll find him on his weekly show Moyers & Company.
19.) Roger Clemens
Not unknown to controversy, 11-time All-Star, 2-time World Series Champion, and 7-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens helped the Longhorns win the 1983 College World Series. He is the first player to have his baseball uniform retired at UT…’cause Hook ’em!
18.) Felicia Day
Her hair is kinda burnt orange. And, she’s probably every gamer’s fantasy due to her Internet stardom (on top of playing “Vi” on TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer). She graduated from Texas in 2000, double majoring in mathematics and musical performance. Seriously. That hair.
Of course, we all know there are more than 50 Reasons Why Being a Longhorn is AWESOME, but this is a damn good start. So, crank up your speakers and play The Eyes of Texas before you scroll down.
Cover photo by Over Austin.
50. Because we live in Austin, Texas
49. Because the 40 Acres is a beautiful campus
48. Because you can study in this library
47. Because spotting this little fellow before a test is good luck
46. Because Chaps > Overalls
45. Because Hook ’em!
44. Because we’ve got a presidential library
43. And, we’ve got a Tower!
Poor Aggies. They’ve always been some sort of special to us. They made fools out of themselves when they decided to go the SEC. So, we thought we’d dig a little deeper into the cult – I mean, “university” – that we love so very much (bless their hearts).
The idea is that “When the football team scores, everyone scores.” Seems a bit on the creeper side.
Sayin’ “texas university”
College Station: where learning disabilities are witty.
Indoctrination Camp (Fish Camp or T-Camp)
Nah, fuck a weekend-long orientation. Let’s do four days in an even more remote shithole than College Station and learn fight songs.
The Aggie War Hymn
Have you ever noticed that A&M’s entire fight song is all about UT? It’s almost flattering. Collegiate penis envy at its finest.
The glorified ROTC.
(Because my daddy’s daddy’s daddy beat up queer-o-sexuals at A&M and by golly, so will I!)