Niche.com ranked 1,713 top public universities in the US and our beloved 40 Acres came out on top. Hook ’em!
Rankings are based on the following:
The 2016 Top Public Universities ranking is based on key statistics and student reviews. The top ranked public colleges are elite academic institutions that provide a good value for in-state students and offer an exceptional college experience.
Here’s how our score card came out:
D+ for parking makes sense. And, drug safety? We’re wondering what they mean by that ourselves.
University of Indiana student Julian Bates lost a chance at $1,000,000, a trip to London, and a new car, but worst of all…an Aggie came in and guessed correctly on more than one occasion during Wheel of Fortune College Week.
Don’t worry. The Aggie and ‘Bama girls still managed to screw things up as he somehow made it to the Bonus Round. The world makes sense again.
Poor Aggies. They’ve always been some sort of special to us. They made fools out of themselves when they decided to go the SEC. So, we thought we’d dig a little deeper into the cult – I mean, “university” – that we love so very much (bless their hearts).
The idea is that “When the football team scores, everyone scores.” Seems a bit on the creeper side.
Sayin’ “texas university”
College Station: where learning disabilities are witty.
Indoctrination Camp (Fish Camp or T-Camp)
Nah, fuck a weekend-long orientation. Let’s do four days in an even more remote shithole than College Station and learn fight songs.
The Aggie War Hymn
Have you ever noticed that A&M’s entire fight song is all about UT? It’s almost flattering. Collegiate penis envy at its finest.
The glorified ROTC.
(Because my daddy’s daddy’s daddy beat up queer-o-sexuals at A&M and by golly, so will I!)