Alright

I think that everyone from Austin can agree that we take pride in one of our many gems who has taken the celebrity world by storm and brought the city of Austin into a glimmering and glamorous light—this one person is the beautiful and mysterious Matthew McConaughey.

Though some people might know our good-ol’ Matt from his arrest due to a noise complaint from his neighbors while he was playing bongo drums naked, or the fact that he did the voice over commercials for certain beef products, but us Austinites who know and love Matt choose to shine light on the fact that he is an Academy Award Winner for his role in Dallas Buyers Club along with his countless other amazing film roles he has taken to date. Yes, Matthew is one of our many shining stars who used to grace the University of Texas campus in Austin, and yes, he has made a name for himself across the entire world. I think that a man of such his caliber should be rewarded for all that he has done, and appreciated for all the amazing life advice he has to share with the youths of America today.

1. “Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius.”

Who could argue with the man who himself was the spokesperson for beef? Matthew certainly knows his meats and the quality in which he finds most suitable for himself. When the man who first invented the cheeseburger put on that first slice of cheese onto the plain and boring burger, he was truly putting himself into the league of geniuses that have walked theface of the planet. I think that the man who invented the cheeseburger would greatly get along with Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare, and Thomas Jefferson. So to this, I congratulate Matthew on being able to identify the true heroes of this nation.

2. “My life is the road, man. I need to keep moving.”

Man, how could you even attempt to argue with something like this? Life is a linear road in which we are all traveling down, and Matthew doesn’t simply say he wants to keep moving. Nay, he needs to keep on moving. For those of you who would consider yourselves to be a stick in the mud and refusing to move through life, just look at our good friend Matt here. He lives his life on a moving and winding road that may just so happen to consist of playing bongo drums while naked—but who are we to tell him otherwise?

3. “Life is a series of commas, not periods.”

As someone who prides himself on his use of linguistics, Matthew really sums up the meaning of life here. A “comma” can be defined as “a punctuation mark indicating a pause between parts of a sentence”. Quite simply, a comma means that one must keep going. So if you are going to take anything from this piece of advice from Matthew, it is to keep on keeping on and don’t let your life be ruined by a punctuation mark such as a period.

4. “There’s a difference in thinking you are a champion and knowing that you are.”

To this piece of advice, Matthew is truly separating the winners from the losers, the truest from the fakest, and the realest from the phoniest. You might think you are one thing, but life will smack you in the face with a huge dose of reality. Don’t simply think like a champion—be a champion. You are a student at the University of Texas, so you don’t really have a choice to be anything but the best.

5. “I’m a football fan, a sports fan, a fan of competition.”

You can take the boy out of Texas, but you cannot take Texas out of the boy. Matthew loves the thrill of the UT Longhorns winning as much as we all do. When we lose, he weeps with us. When we win, he cheers with us. When we tailgate, he drinks with us. Matthew is the stunning example that no matter where you go in life after college, you will always bleed orange.