Drinking Game for the 2016 Academy Awards

The Academy Awards is the most prestigious award show in the film industry. Celebrities would kill or be killed to get the chance to not only get to go, but to win an Oscar. There are been many controversies surrounding the Academy Awards over the past few years. Claims are varied from “no one even sees the movies that are nominated” to “#OscarsSoWhite” to “someone on the Academy clearly hates Leonardo DiCaprio”. But I am not here to denote whether or not those claims are correct. I, however, am here to provide an entertainment for those brave souls that will choose to sit through the three hours of awkward mic malfunctions, awkward play-off music, and even more awkward outspoken and blatantly drunk celebrities who make fools of themselves on stage.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE TOP 20 MOST FAMOUS LONGHORNS!

Here is the unofficial drinking game of the Academy Awards 2016. Take a drink every time:

Leonardo DiCaprio fakes a smile/laugh for another winner

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Someone makes a joke about Leonardo DiCaprio never winning an Oscar

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Something unbelievably embarrassing happens to Leonard DiCaprio (Like being upstaged by Lady Gaga)

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Jennifer Lawrence does something odd on camera

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Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer are on screen together

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Tom Hardy shows his beautiful face on the screen. Every. Time. (Remember two of his films are nominated for best picture)

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A celebrity gets another celebrity’s name wrong

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A celebrity becomes a meme

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A celebrity gets played off with music

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A celebrity starts to cry

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A celebrity gets offended and tries their hardest not to laugh at an inappropriate joke

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Mark Ruffalo steals your soul and makes your heart melt

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Chris Rock offends someone

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Chris Rock makes fun of someone

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Chris Rock mentions #OscarsSoWhite

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Chris Rock gets bleeped out

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There is a sore loser

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If you see the most perfect human on the face of the planet make an appearance.

 

If you’re not wasted by the end of this game — then you should probably seek medical attention. Hook ’em.

Top 10 Pieces of Life Advice From Matthew McConaughey

I think that everyone from Austin can agree that we take pride in one of our many gems who has taken the celebrity world by storm and brought the city of Austin into a glimmering and glamorous light—this one person is the beautiful and mysterious Matthew McConaughey.

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Though some people might know our good-ol’ Matt from his arrest due to a noise complaint from his neighbors while he was playing bongo drums naked, or the fact that he did the voice over commercials for certain beef products, but us Austinites who know and love Matt choose to shine light on the fact that he is an Academy Award Winner for his role in Dallas Buyers Club along with his countless other amazing film roles he has taken to date. Yes, Matthew is one of our many shining stars who used to grace the University of Texas campus in Austin, and yes, he has made a name for himself across the entire world. I think that a man of such his caliber should be rewarded for all that he has done, and appreciated for all the amazing life advice he has to share with the youths of America today.

  1. “Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius.”

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Who could argue with the man who himself was the spokesperson for beef? Matthew certainly knows his meats and the quality in which he finds most suitable for himself. When the man who first invented the cheeseburger put on that first slice of cheese onto the plain and boring burger, he was truly putting himself into the league of geniuses that have walked theface of the planet. I think that the man who invented the cheeseburger would greatly get along with Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare, and Thomas Jefferson. So to this, I congratulate Matthew on being able to identify the true heroes of this nation.

  1. “My life is the road, man. I need to keep moving.”

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Man, how could you even attempt to argue with something like this? Life is a linear road in which we are all traveling down, and Matthew doesn’t simply say he wants to keep moving. Nay, he needs to keep on moving. For those of you who would consider yourselves to be a stick in the mud and refusing to move through life, just look at our good friend Matt here. He lives his life on a moving and winding road that may just so happen to consist of playing bongo drums while naked—but who are we to tell him otherwise?

  1. “Life is a series of commas, not periods.”

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As someone who prides himself on his use of linguistics, Matthew really sums up the meaning of life here. A “comma” can be defined as “a punctuation mark indicating a pause between parts of a sentence”. Quite simply, a comma means that one must keep going. So if you are going to take anything from this piece of advice from Matthew, it is to keep on keeping on and don’t let your life be ruined by a punctuation mark such as a period.

  1. “There’s a difference in thinking you are a champion and knowing that you are.”

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To this piece of advice, Matthew is truly separating the winners from the losers, the truest from the fakest, and the realest from the phoniest. You might think you are one thing, but life will smack you in the face with a huge dose of reality. Don’t simply think like a champion—be a champion. You are a student at the University of Texas, so you don’t really have a choice to be anything but the best.

  1. “I’m a football fan, a sports fan, a fan of competition.”

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You can take the boy out of Texas, but you cannot take Texas out of the boy. Matthew loves the thrill of the UT Longhorns winning as much as we all do. When we lose, he weeps with us. When we win, he cheers with us. When we tailgate, he drinks with us. Matthew is the stunning example that no matter where you go in life after college, you will always bleed orange.

Matthew McConaughey’s Dazed and Confused Audition Tape Is The Most Awesome Thing You’ll Watch Today

All-around Longhorn bad ass Matthew McConaughey is a legend because of his character Wooderson. It’s how he broke through in Hollywood, except it was in Austin.

Watch this in all its glory and cherish our favorite quote from Dazed & Confused.

That’s what I love about high school girls. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.

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The Top 20 Most Famous People Who Went To The University of Texas at Austin

20.) Bill Moyers

For all of you PBS hippie lovers, President Johnson’s former Press Secretary, Bill Moyers, graduated from the University in 1956. He is well known for his work in public broadcasting, where you’ll find him on his weekly show Moyers & Company.

19.) Roger Clemens

Not unknown to controversy, 11-time All-Star, 2-time World Series Champion, and 7-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens helped the Longhorns win the 1983 College World Series. He is the first player to have his baseball uniform retired at UT…’cause Hook ’em!

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18.) Felicia Day

Her hair is kinda burnt orange. And, she’s probably every gamer’s fantasy due to her Internet stardom (on top of playing “Vi” on TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer). She graduated from Texas in 2000, double majoring in mathematics and musical performance. Seriously. That hair.

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Beyoncé is a Longhorn and Bleeds Burnt Orange

Not only did Beyoncé drop a surprise album, she posed in David Ash’s jersey!

Of course, David Ash tweeted this back to her: