Chief Longhorn

Aggie Student Crashes Into Police Car While Sending Topless Snap

From The Eagle:

A Texas A&M student was arrested Wednesday night after authorities said she crashed her vehicle into the back of a parked Bryan police car.

According to the police report, the woman told the officer she was sending a Snapchat picture to her boyfriend just before the crash.

The student then appeared to be putting her shirt back on when the officer approached. She happened to have an open bottle of wine in her vehicle, according to the report.

This just goes to show you that everything in Aggieland hasn’t changed one damn bit.


YCT Believes “Melatonin” (Not Melanin) of Person’s Skin Has No Bearing On Who They Are

So, the Young Conservatives of Texas had their stupid, racist bake sale…again. And yes, before we get into any detail, they should all be bussed across the border to Norman, Oklahoma.

One bustling quote from the bake sale comes in at 1:15 when one of YCT’s member says that the “Melatonin of a person’s skin has no bearing on who they are as a person…essentially.”

UT’s collective reaction?

Go home, YCT. You’re drunk.

Jimmy Fallon Gave A Shoutout to Texas QB Shane Buechele

Jimmy Fallon made a joke about Texas Longhorn QB Shane Buechele. Unfortunately, it wasn’t about his awesome performance against Notre Dame. It was about him being born after his father got a vasectomy!

Watch the clip below!

Abigail Fisher (Reportedly) Spotted at UT-Austin Football Game

Abigail Fisher, aka Becky with the Bad Grades, was reportedly/maybe spotted at this past weekend’s UT vs Notre Dame game. And if it’s her, she still looks mad as hell.

Why you mad, Abby?

Here’s another purported pic.

Screen Shot 2016-09-07 at 9.26.04 AM

#CocksNotGlocks Protest: Packing Meat, Not Packing Heat (10 Photos)

We present the best pics from the #CocksNotGlocks protest at UT-Austin today. If you need some history about how this came to be, visit their website:

“On June 1, 2015, Gov. Greg Abbott signed S.B. 11, also known as the “campus carry” law. S.B. 11 provides that license holders may carry a concealed handgun throughout university campuses, starting Aug. 1, 2016. The law gives public universities some discretion to regulate campus carry.”

The State of Texas has decided that it is not at all obnoxious to allow deadly concealed weapons in classrooms, however it does have strict rules about free sexual expression, to protect your innocence. You would receive a citation for taking a dildo to class before you would get in trouble for taking a gun to class. Heaven forbid the penis.

1.) Nice juggle, bruh.

2.) Roy Wood Jr. from The Daily Show!

A photo posted by madsconnolly (@madsconnolly) on

3.) The Balls of Texas Are Upon You

4.) Hook ’em?


A video posted by @homiehomes on

6.) More Wood!

7.) It’s a rally cry! COCKS, NOT GLOCKS!

A video posted by claire (@clairehardwick) on

8.) Take it and come!

9.) Cum early, stay late. Bleed burnt orange? Ouch.

A photo posted by Emily K (@sevententaclez) on

10.) Done.

Jazzy's protesting open carry by packing heat #cocksnotglocks

A video posted by Hether McCuistion (@hether_babymac) on

Enter our Longhorn Humor T-Shirt Giveaway!

Longhorn Humor T-Shirt Giveaway

#UT16 Grad Gets Smacked In Face By Flying Graduation Cap

Meagan Richards, a recent #UT16 grad in African and Africa Diaspora Studies, tweeted out this golden video at UT’s commencement ceremony.

The title speaks for itself. Metaphor.

Buzzfeed interviewed Richards, who commented on her video going viral:

“I knew the video made me and my friends laugh, but I never expected it to make this many people laugh,” she said.

UT-Austin Ranked #1 Top Public University In The Country ranked 1,713 top public universities in the US and our beloved 40 Acres came out on top. Hook ’em!

Rankings are based on the following:

The 2016 Top Public Universities ranking is based on key statistics and student reviews. The top ranked public colleges are elite academic institutions that provide a good value for in-state students and offer an exceptional college experience.

Here’s how our score card came out:

UT Austin Ranked #1

D+ for parking makes sense. And, drug safety? We’re wondering what they mean by that ourselves.

Others schools ranked as follows:

#10 Texas A&M
#45 University of Jokelahoma
#60 Texas Tech University

Hook ’em!