YCT Believes “Melatonin” (Not Melanin) of Person’s Skin Has No Bearing On Who They Are

So, the Young Conservatives of Texas had their stupid, racist bake sale…again. And yes, before we get into any detail, they should all be bussed across the border to Norman, Oklahoma.

One bustling quote from the bake sale comes in at 1:15 when one of YCT’s member says that the “Melatonin of a person’s skin has no bearing on who they are as a person…essentially.”

UT’s collective reaction?

Go home, YCT. You’re drunk.

#CocksNotGlocks Protest: Packing Meat, Not Packing Heat (10 Photos)

We present the best pics from the #CocksNotGlocks protest at UT-Austin today. If you need some history about how this came to be, visit their website:

“On June 1, 2015, Gov. Greg Abbott signed S.B. 11, also known as the “campus carry” law. S.B. 11 provides that license holders may carry a concealed handgun throughout university campuses, starting Aug. 1, 2016. The law gives public universities some discretion to regulate campus carry.”

The State of Texas has decided that it is not at all obnoxious to allow deadly concealed weapons in classrooms, however it does have strict rules about free sexual expression, to protect your innocence. You would receive a citation for taking a dildo to class before you would get in trouble for taking a gun to class. Heaven forbid the penis.

1.) Nice juggle, bruh.

2.) Roy Wood Jr. from The Daily Show!

A photo posted by madsconnolly (@madsconnolly) on

3.) The Balls of Texas Are Upon You

4.) Hook ’em?


A video posted by @homiehomes on

6.) More Wood!

7.) It’s a rally cry! COCKS, NOT GLOCKS!

A video posted by claire (@clairehardwick) on

8.) Take it and come!

9.) Cum early, stay late. Bleed burnt orange? Ouch.

A photo posted by Emily K (@sevententaclez) on

10.) Done.

Jazzy's protesting open carry by packing heat #cocksnotglocks

A video posted by Hether McCuistion (@hether_babymac) on

UT-Austin Ranked #1 Top Public University In The Country

Niche.com ranked 1,713 top public universities in the US and our beloved 40 Acres came out on top. Hook ’em!

Rankings are based on the following:

The 2016 Top Public Universities ranking is based on key statistics and student reviews. The top ranked public colleges are elite academic institutions that provide a good value for in-state students and offer an exceptional college experience.

Here’s how our score card came out:

UT Austin Ranked #1 Niche.com

D+ for parking makes sense. And, drug safety? We’re wondering what they mean by that ourselves.

Others schools ranked as follows:

#10 Texas A&M
#45 University of Jokelahoma
#60 Texas Tech University

Hook ’em!

UT-Austin Ranked One Of The Most Sleep-Deprived Schools In the Country

University of Texas at Austin students only get an average of 6.88 hours of sleep during the week and 7.3 hours on the weekend, according to a study by Jawbone.

The fitness tracking software measured sleeping patterns from tens of thousands of students at over 100 colleges across the United States.

Students who track their sleep with UP at these schools average 7.03 hours of sleep during the week, and 7.38 hours of sleep on weekends.

Longhorns are going to bed at 12:30am during the week and, on average, at 1:27am on the weekends (yeah right). Pretty sure we’re not wearing our fitness bands when we’re out partying downtown.

How much sleep are you getting? Tell us in the comments!


Source: The Tab

Someone Hacked A Traffic Sign on 24th & Rio Grande To Say “OU Still Sucks”

Not all hacks are bad, and not all heroes wear capes.

Great job to whoever did this. OU still sucks!

UT-Austin Is Most Valuable Sports Program In The Country

Once again, The University of Texas at Austin is the most valuable sports program in the country raking in $179.6 million in athletic revenue, according to CBS Sports.

OU came in at 5th place…’cause they suck. And, Texas A&M was so far down the list that I really didn’t feel like counting.

To further add to our keys to success, we’re also the most valuable football team in ‘Merica, according to Forbes.

Texas’ team value is up 16% this year to $152 million, and that climb to the stratosphere should hardly be a surprise at this point.

Notre Dame may have beat us on the field, but we beat them in the wallet…’cause that’s what counts, right? RIGHT?! They came in at #2, while Tennessee (seriously?) came in third.

All we do is win.

Hook ’em.

Stages Every Longhorn Goes Through At Home For The Holidays

Holidays are known for being the happiest time of the year, but if you are a student at the University of Texas, then you know the holidays can be pretty heavy on the heart. Holidays are the time where you have to spend an entire month away from your Longhorn friends and even harder, Austin.

You finish your last final and feel like you’re on top of the world, because you now have an entire month of no homework or studying.

It comes the time to say goodbye to your friends, and it nearly breaks your heart. You physically don’t know how you’re going to handle the separation.

On your way home, you can’t help but get that excited feeling of being home and having all the time in the world to treat yo’ self.

When you get home, the first thing you do is jump in your bed because it is even more comfortable after not being slept in for months.

You feel unbelievably spoiled as your family makes you home cooked meals of all your favorites, and you got your eye on it all.

Finally, you are reunited with your hometown best friends and it seems like no time has passed at all.

You and your hometown friends spend much needed time catching up on all any any drama that has happened over the past three months.

The rare moment arises that a party in your hometown comes up, so when you arrive you make sure to look your absolute best.

At the party, the weird kids from your high school attempt to catch up with you and your fabulous Austin life despite your blatant lack of interest.

Then the inevitable and tragic moment happens: you run into your ex.

When you can tell people are pretty over listening to what an amazing life you have at UT, you give them the benefit of the doubt and attempt to listen to them share their boring stories from their boring colleges.

After a few too many drinks, the unrequited drama of summer seems to rise to the surface, and you can’t help but be glad that you’ll only be stuck here for a month.

The horrible yet inevitable moment arises where you realize you don’t fit in with your hometown anymore because you are far too superior and weird like Austin meant for you to be.

Your parents start reprimanding you for being too hungover/sleeping in too late as if waking up at noon on the weekends isn’t waking up early in college time.

During the actual holidays, you are subjected to spending time with your relatives who take it upon themselves to question you on every facet of your life, expecting excruciatingly specific details.

It gets to the moment during break where you realize you’re better left off only hanging out with yourself until you get to go back to UT.

Then the real hometown boredom hits, and it hits strong.

Looking at your calendar and realizing you only have a few days left of break, you suddenly realize you have accomplished absolutely nothing all break.

But it’s time to go back to the best place on Earth and you can’t contain your excitement. So long, hometown, you’re off to the best city in the world.

Let’s keep Austin weird, shall we?


This Season’s Holiday Gift Guide for Lady Longhorns

As the holidays are rearing closer and closer, and we, as Longhorns, have to leave the holy land that is Austin, Texas, for a very painful month, some of us can’t help but rush into a panic at the last moment to get last-minute shopping done. It happens far too often that boys are left in utter and complete confusion what to buy their girlfriends for the holidays. But don’t you fret. I have composed a complete list of everything a Longhorn girl will ever want or need for this season.

Birchbox Subscription

The newest and latest trend this season is Birchboxes. You can get them in any type from hair products, to make up, and more. The purpose of a Birchbox is for a new order to arrive every month. This way, you can make a one purchase that will still be delivered to your lady every month, giving off the illusion you have given her more than one gift and were extremely thoughtful about it. It’s also a fun away for her to pamper herself and have something to look forward to that will remind her of the special person who bought it for her.


Naked Palettes

Available here on Amazon

Whether you are shopping for your girlfriend, best friend, sister, or whoever, you can never go wrong with the Naked Palettes from Urban Decay. There are now four palettes that will go with any outfit or any mood you are in. Enough of the tacky eyeshadow and poorly done makeup, this is 2015, we have YouTube tutorials for days that can teach us how to properly apply makeup. So for your friends who need a little nudge in the right direction, this is a great choice.


Box Set of Friends Series

Available here on Amazon

It’s no secret that Friends is almost every girl on the face of the planet’s favorite show. If it’s not her favorite show, then she definitely still loves it. Nothing says “I’m thinking about you” more than a full box of the Friends series so she can lock herself in her room for the entire winter break and not come out. Some would even consider that to be a dream come true.


Justin Bieber Concert Tickets

Or his latest album, available here on Amazon

I know what you’re all thinking “I’m not a millionaire so you should probably shut up with this suggestion”, but slow your roll. This is Justin Bieber we’re talking about. Justin Bieber who has not only had the biggest comeback of the year but who also went from a scrawny child to a jacked, gorgeous man with a beautiful voice that is as beautiful as his face. It doesn’t matter if the seats you get are in the nosebleeds, because even those are pricey. Justin will put on a show that makes ever single girl in the audience lose her mind and I’d even go as far to say as it would make anyone’s dream come true. But if you choose to settle, you can always purchase his new album “Purpose”.


Bose Sound Canceling Headphones

Available here on Amazon

There’s nothing in the world a girl loves more than peace and quiet, so why not get her a pair of noise canceling headphones? Instead of ignoring you like a normal girl will, she can make it obvious when she doesn’t want to hear from you. It’s really a win, win situation.


Pretty Much Anything from Victoria’s Secret

Available here on Amazon

December is always a huge time for Victoria Secret. Every year girls look forward to seeing the annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show on TV, and then get horribly upset that they’re not an angel themselves. Well, you can at least get her the second best by pretty much giving her anything in the Victoria Secret Store. From sweatpants to sweatshirts to underwear to lingerie to even lotions and body sprays, it truly is the goldmine for the best holiday gifts ever. Plus, it gives every girl the chance to feel like an angel, if even for a minute.



Lush Bath Bombs

Available here on Amazon

What could be more perfect than giving a girl a reason to take a bubble bath and relax? Giving a bath bomb or any of the skin and body products they have incites an invitation for the special girl in your life to take a day off and worry about herself. Lush is not only an great place to shop for girls, guys can enjoy the bath bombs too. A personal favorite is always the Sex Bath Bomb.


Wine Glasses

Available here on Amazon


Though it may seem cliche, a girl can never have too many wine glasses. A wine glass is kind of like the gift that keeps giving because girls will always want more wine. It’s natures way of assuring us everything will be alright. If you get the large wine glasses that can fit a whole bottle of wine in it, it comes across that you are behaving yourself though we all know the truth (though some girls choose to not even use the glass at all).


Giant Teddy Bear

Available here on Amazon


This probably goes without saying, but receiving an oversized teddy bear is probably the most euphoric thing that can happen to just about anyone. Not only is this thing massive, but it is full of endless snuggles. If you give this to a girl, they will be guaranteed to fall in love with you without a doubt.



Available here on Amazon

Everyone likes to cuddle up to a new book and relax over the holiday break, but why would you do that with an old fashion book when Kindles are on sale at Amazon.com? Having a Kindle makes reading even easier, because once you finish a book, your next book is at your finger tips. You’d be amazed at how many books you can read when you’re looking at a screen much like you do for most of your days anyways. Plus, the new Kindle Fires have wifi and all the apps you will need, basically making it the coolest gift you could give someone this holiday season. Plus Kindles make it easier to read Fifty Shades of Grey without receiving fifty shades of shade in public.



Everyone loves food, this pretty much goes without saying, but when it is the holiday season and it is the time of the year when everyone wears sweaters and jackets, it is the perfect time to get completely out of shape and treat yo’self. If you want to make a girl happy, always feed her.



Nothing says commitment quite like getting a girl a puppy for the holidays. If you have either been pretty shotty with your commitment/loyalty or if you just want to take it to the next step and see a girl be the happiest she’s been in a very long time, a puppy is the perfect gift. Definitely don’t make this decision lightly.




When in doubt, buy alcohol. We all need a little alcohol to get through the holidays, so this might be the most perfect gift for anyone this season.


Happy shopping, and remember, it is only one short month until you’re back in the best city in the world.